


If This is So Wrong, Why Does it Feel So Right?

by whitetiger91



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-07
Updated: 2015-01-07
Packaged: 2019-02-17 12:05:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13076526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whitetiger91/pseuds/whitetiger91
Summary: Have you ever wondered when Andy's rebellious nature began to take form or why she started dating a 'Mudblood'? This is the story of the romance that started it all. A one-shot written for the Diagon Alley II New Year competition. Title credits to the forum founders.





	If This is So Wrong, Why Does it Feel So Right?

"You are so pathetic! Just leave!"

"Yeah? Well, I'm not the one who goes around wearing a short skirt and putting on lipstick when I have a boyfriend! What do you expect me to do? You won't let us go all the way."

"No, I don't suppose you could wait, could you? Why did it have to be her? And In front of all of my friends, too. Just go."

"No one saw-"

"Trisha did! Do you honestly think that gossip queen could keep your little tongue-wrestling display to herself? Noooo, she loved being able to come and tell me in the common room when it was full of people." Composing herself, Andromeda perfected a calmer tone. "No, that's it. You know what? You are more than free to allow everyone to see your little kissing sessions now because we are over. Goodbye, James."

Turning swiftly on her heel, she made to continue on her way down the dark stone hallways but was stopped by a firm grip on her wrist. She closed her eyes and clenched her teeth, ready to be pulled back into his arms.

"But Andy, you know it's you I really love, we belong together," James purred into her ear, sending a shiver down her spine. He seemed to take that as a sign that she was giving in to his charm and continued, "You are the prettiest girl in the entire castle, and the most beautiful Slytherin to have graced these halls. Can a man help it when he thinks he is not good enough for her?"

This was how it always had been between them. They would fight; she would be too preoccupied, trying to find another way to annoy her mother or concentrating on her OWLS; he would be occupied himself with another girl; she would then break up with him; he would seek forgiveness with a few soothing words and pricey gifts.

It was a routine that had been going on for almost a year now. The strange relationship was much like those the rest of their house seemed to attract- a relationship of convenience. His parents were happy that he was dating a pureblood who was faring well in school and she knew that the rest of the girls were jealous of the compliments about her beauty that he rained down upon her in their presence.

Andromeda sighed as she remembered the first time they had started seeing each other at one of her mother's grand Christmas balls. 12 Grimmauld Place, the original House of Black, which her aunt Walburga now managed with a fiery temper, had recently been refurbished. As a result, her mother had, of course, gone to ridiculous lengths to make sure that their own manor was filled with the latest décor. The ongoing feud between the Black families was normal behaviour for a pureblood family; they would politely inquire about the other's health whilst plotting ways in which to appear more superior on the next encounter.

It had been in the recently polished ballroom of their manor that Andromeda found herself being forced to dance with the sixth year Slytherin, James Blishwick. Their mothers had both clapped and nodded with approving smirks as the couple twirled around the floor. Her long, bottle green dress had swished around her, the velvet skirts billowing around her feet as she gracefully moved. Just as he was now, James had been very handsome that night; his bright blue eyes sparkling with mischief under the magnificent sparkling crystal chandelier hanging high above them. She wished now that she hadn't been so naïve as to think all would be as perfect as it had seemed.

"Come on, Andy, let me show you how I can make it up to you." He gently brushed his hand over her chest, pausing as though waiting for any slap of the hand to come. When it didn't, he kissed her neck, as she melted into him. "That's a girl. You know, I have always loved your eyes." He placed a finger under her chin and titled her pale face towards him. "Those beautiful chocolate orbs." He kissed her nose. "Your gorgeous tangle of long, dark locks, so similar to Bella's-" She tensed at the mention of her sister's name, "yet so much more silky." She relaxed in his grasp again. He had her now; they would kiss and make-up, so-to-speak. "Come." He took her delicate hand in his, rubbing his thumb over it gently. They would return to the common room, once more the perfect couple.

"You know, you're not quite forgiven."

"Hmmm, I know." His smirk said otherwise as he continued to lead them back into the dungeons from where they had come.

The halls were quiet at this time of night, with most of the younger students forced to retreat to their house common rooms before their early curfew. The candles aligning the walls flickered as they moved past them, the flames barely adding any warmth to the chilly night air. Andromeda shivered; she had been too angry with James and had forgotten to bring her cloak when she had stormed off. Looking to him and rubbing her arms, she hinted that she would like to borrow his. James simply looked back, pausing to kiss the top of her head, before resuming his quest to get back to the dormitories.

Several metres from the hidden entrance of their common room stood two figures, one of whom Andromeda recognised and stifled a groan. Her youngest sister stood by the wall, flipping her golden hair and examining her nails whilst her companion whispered furiously. At their arrival, the second girl snapped to attention and hurried forward as Narcissa simply rolled her eyes.

"James, darling, there you are! I've been standing out here for almost an hour now! How could you make me wait like that?" She made to hug him, but stopped when she realised he was not alone. "Wait, she's still here? I thought she was out of the picture!"

Andromeda didn't need to hear anymore. The brunette girl, who was now stomping her foot and wiping away tears from heavily mascarared-eyes, matched the description of the half-blood who was kissing James in the library earlier. She yanked her hand out of his and, for the second time that night, walked off down the halls.

"Baby! Andy, baby, c'mon. Wait, Andy!" He caught up with her, a worried expression on his face. "C'mon doll, you know that she's just some chick that wants attention. I don't know her, c'mon, please, let's just get inside."

Andromeda's next response clearly told him their relationship was over, and for good, this time. "How about you and that 'chick' go and make out somewhere like, oh, I dunno, hell?" She fixed him with a fierce glare as she continued to mutter obscenities under her breath.

"Now, that's not very becoming of a lady! Remember, no proper gentleman will want a female who swears like that. Baby, stop. You know we belong together; who else would you go with? You need someone like me; we're perfect together. The perfect pureblood couple. I know it, you know it, heck, even our parents know it! Now are you going to be a good little girl and come back with me?"

A kick to the lower regions sent the boy down with a cry of pain. Only somewhat satisfied as he curled up clutching his pride-and-joy, Andromeda began sprinting down the halls. She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes, yet did not want to present herself as weak. That other wretched girl, who by now she guessed was comforting him, could have him; they deserved each other.

She made it to the grounds just in time; tears had begun to spill down her cheeks. Luckily, only a couple of boys had been lingering in the hall and did not seem to dare interrupt her plight. How could she have been so foolish? Of course there was another girl. There always was, but now he had made it public?

Her mother had let her and her sisters in on a rare piece of 'motherly' advice not too long ago. She told her daughters that their duty was to always uphold the needs of a man; it was their duty as proper ladies. A lady must always be well-presented whilst the key to a good marriage was to allow the man to slip up on occasion. If she didn't, then the man, no matter how respectable he may be, would have every wish to fulfil his needs elsewhere, even if that meant sustaining those needs with the publics' knowledge; this would be more shameful for the wife to allow this to happen. Narcissa was the only one of the three to be a little upset upon realising what this news meant about her own parent's marriage; Bella shrugged it off knowing that she had plenty of boys after her who would rather meet her needs than theirs.

Andromeda took the rest of the night to think about her next move. Once she had moved on from her anger at herself, she redirected it onto James; he needed to pay. She needed to make sure that the rest of her house knew that she was the one who had ended their relationship and not him; she would not have her chances of finding another suitor taken away because he would be sure to spread his own version of events.

It had to be something that would irk him yet allow her to maintain a good, clean image. Her sisters wouldn't be any help though; she wondered which one of them would write to their mother first about the breakup. It would probably be Narcissa. She dearly loved her youngest sibling yet knew that she had a penchant for breaking up her relationships. It wouldn't surprise her either for she was cunning enough to slip words into more gullible girls' ears and make them believe that it was a good idea to fling themselves at boys who already had girlfriends; after all, she had been standing with the brunette, looking oh-so-angelic. She often took great joy in being their mother's favourite daughter, especially if it meant ensuring that Bella and she slipped up from time to time.

With thoughts swirling through her head, she eventually carried herself back to the common room, through to the fifth year girl's dormitories, to her own comfortable emerald quilted bed and fell asleep.

The next morning as she had predicted, Andromeda was greeted by a large tawny owl clutching a bright red envelope from her mother. She had wasted no time in hurrying to take the howler away from prying eyes, lest she give her fellow snakes any more reason to whisper about her. Her mood was already foul from the events of last night, coupled with the fact that she could not come up with a decent plan of revenge, had a headache from a lack of sleep and now was late for charms; she really could not be bothered to listen to her mother screech about her "dishonouring the family" and James being "such a decent boy, he comes from a prominent family, may as well marry a filthy mudblood" as that was all she'd be able to get now.

Charms, at least, provided some relief for her as she slipped into her usual window seat, undetected by the professor. She was a great student in this class and on days like today, she could escape from her housemates with the assigned seating arrangement.

"Hi, you look… good, you look good." Her Hufflepuff partner saved himself in time, noticing that she was clearly not in the mood to discuss her obvious tiredness.

"Save it. Did I miss much?"

"Not really, we're just practicing the basics again. This time we're casting Incendio and trying to control the flame's depth and height."

"Alright, well, let's start, shall we?"

The pair worked together, minimising the embers that shot out of their wands as soon as they landed and causing flames to spark upon the small pile of twigs they had been provided. Once or twice, the boy had to quickly push Andromeda's hair to the side so as to avoid having the ends get singed.

"'Dromeda, you really have to be more careful." Although his warning was real, his lips held a smile. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Just sick of- " she pointed her wand and allowed the flames to swirl up, "-stupid boys-" the flames died down, "-and ridiculous expectations." The flames swirled up again, dancing around the table like small, red ballerinas.

"Blishwick again?"

"Mhm. This time we've broken up for good."

Her teeth clenched as she tried to concentrate on the task they were set. She found it hard to get the flames to leap to one particular twig without turning it into ash when she knew a set of light blue eyes were watching her intently.

"What?"

"Well, are you ok?"

"Aha." She was a little taken aback that someone actually cared about what she felt; she was used to having to please everyone else. Feeling his eyes still upon her, she turned to him.

"You know, I'm never really sure what I saw in him."

"His mesmerising eyes? His glorious hair? Those oh-so-perfect teeth?" Normally, a joking tone would set her on edge, but Ted was allowed to tease her.

She poked him on the arm with her wand tip before turning back with a blank face. "No, it was the gifts."

This caused them to both laugh; Andromeda giggled gently whilst Ted had a more booming laugh. Andromeda quickly covered his mouth with her hand so as to not alert the teacher to their lack of focus.

Her friendship with Ted was a mystery to those who knew of it; particularly to her sisters. Edward Tonks, or Ted as he preferred, was a Muggleborn that had the misfortune of being seated with the pureblood princess on their very first potions lesson. There had been too many Hufflepuffs in the class for the houses to cling to each other so Andromeda, most likely thanks to her eldest sister's disruptive reputation with the teachers, was seated next to the nervous boy. She faced a dilemma when introduced to him; did she shake his hand or not? Rumours of blood status had spread quickly the morning before in the common room and she had discovered that he was a Mudblood.

Still, having her mother's voice in her head about proper decorum, she allowed herself to greet and work with the boy. Several years later, she had grown to accept his Muggle heritage (not without the odd fights about her use of the term 'Mudblood') and appreciated his quick wit and humour. He was fairly easy on the eye as well, what with his fair hair and cheeky grin, even if he was a little heftier around the middle.

Andromeda cried out in disgust and quickly withdrew her hand.

"Gross! Did you just lick me?"

"Yep." He drew out the word, knowing his nonchalant attitude would stir her up.

"Ew! You boys can be so immature." She rolled her eyes.

Good looking or not, sometimes Ted really acted like a juvenile. He shrugged and brushed his hair, making it stick up slightly in places. It certainly wasn't the well-groomed look most Slytherin boys would have. Many of the boys in her house would slick theirs back with a comb, including James. Ted continued messing with it absentmindedly whilst he continued to prod the embers he had conjured. His tongue was protruding from his mouth as he did so, causing Andromeda to smile. It really was a pity that he was one of the "filthy Mudbloods" her mother hated so much; she would consider dating him otherwise. It would certainly give her a laugh to see her parents' horrified reactions and to watch James get jealous. Now that she thought about it, perhaps he was the answer to her latest problem…

"Ted. Ted! Are you listening to me?" He had obviously been deep in his own thoughts to ignore her.

"What?"

"I said, I have a proposal for you. How much do you hate Slytherins?"

"Is that a trick question?" He shifted uneasily in his seat, not sure where this was going.

"Just answer the question."

"Not you, of course, but…"

She smirked, already knowing his answer. "And James? What do you think of him?"

"Don't really talk to the bloke but can't say I'm going to be running around asking for his autograph anytime soon. Why, where are you going with this?"

"Take me out on a date."

"What?" With a strong jab of his wand Ted set the sleeve of his robe on fire. Fanning it wildly, he continued gawking at Andromeda.

"I said, take me out on a date. We'll go tomorrow."

"I—I can't. I'm sorry, but I can't do that, it wouldn't be fair."

"That's the point! You'd help me, right? Right. I just want to wipe the smug look off his face. It would be good too if my sisters or cousin saw me with you as well so maybe we should go out during the day? Outdoors, so that everyone can see us."

"'Dromeda, I still-"

"Oh for goodness sake, Augumenti!" She had gotten tired of seeing him beat the flames without the desired result. The smoke was also beginning to tickle her nose in an unpleasant way.

"There, I just saved your life, and your robes. Now please say that you'll do it?"

Recovering from the shock of cold water, he looked up at her, considering.

"Ok, I'll do it." He gave a wary smile as her face lit up.

"Excellent. I'll let you plan, shall I? Say, 2 o'clock?" Now that he had agreed to her forming plan, she was in a much better mood to banter.

The stout professor swept by their table, effectively ending all further discussion as she peered at their work. "I see that you have taken it upon yourself to kill your fire?" As the professor pinched her nose in frustration at their lack of fire, Andromeda smirked at Ted. "Fine. Ok, everyone on the count of three use the water charm to put out your fires. Ready? 1, 2, 3."

As one, the class shouted "Augumenti!" and began scurrying to leave the stuffy classroom. Andromeda was among them as she now had to prepare herself for her upcoming 'date'.

She really needed to get some sleep, she thought as she tried to conceal the dark circles under her eyes. Andromeda had spent another long night tossing and turning, and it was all thanks to that ex-boyfriend of hers. Although she now had a plan in place, she was having second thoughts. Did she really want to annoy her parents? The answer was that of course she did, but she had to admit to herself that sometimes she could take things too far.

It was only one date with Ted yet somehow she knew her parents might not be so forgiving; they were not the sort of witch and wizard to joke. On the other hand, she really couldn't care less what James thought. Over the last year, she had convinced herself that he did good things for her. Thinking much clearer now that he no longer took up her personal space, she realised that all he wanted was her body and a way to secure his inheritance. Even the gifts he gave her weren't necessary with her family's vast fortune; most were also tacky bits of jewellery that she only wore to please him.

Sighing, she knew it was too late to back out now, even if she did want to. Not only had she happened to tell a certain gossip queen about the amazing date with an incredibly gorgeous guy she would have (not forgetting to hint it was at 2.00 pm several times and that she hoped it would not get interrupted), she was also standing at the arranged meeting place with only a few minutes to spare.

"Sorry, am I late?" Ted strolled up to her as casually as he could manage, trying to hide his rosy cheeks and heavy breathing, having presumably just run.

"Not at all." She smiled at him, finding it cute that he was trying so hard. As loyal as she tried to be to her house, she knew the other houses all contained people you could rely on. Sure, Slytherins would have each other's backs on matters of great importance, but not many would bother to help a comrade with the littler things. The fact that Ted was here as requested made her feel more at ease about their fake little outing. Realising that he wasn't going to break into the awkward pause, she continued, "So where are you taking me?"

"Oh. Well, my dear," he held his free arm out so that she could loop an arm through it, "I thought we might go on a picnic out by the lake."

She almost burst out laughing at his tone when she realised he was serious; she didn't want to make him feel bad.

Taking her silence as confusion, he added in a smaller voice, "You see, I remember you telling me last year that you had never been on a picnic, let alone a Muggle one. So I thought that I would treat you with one of the things you found oh-so-fascinating about my home life."

The thought behind his gesture startled her. No other boy had ever really planned a date before, except for what they wanted to happen at the end. No boy had certainly ever invited her out on a picnic, let alone remembered the things she actually liked doing. Her mother refused to attend any picnics with the claim that the tedious act of eating outside with insects could be left for the more common wizarding families.

The day wasn't quite as warm as expected; the sun shone hazily through the looming clouds and a slight breeze made her shudder. Ted took off the leather jacket he had been wearing and offered it to Andromeda.

"Oh, thanks, I'm alright." She liked the floral sun-dress she had picked out as it complemented her figure perfectly. If there was one thing she did learn from two sisters, it was an exemplary taste in fashion. She always ensured that she used this skill when hanging around a boy; first impressions always counted. However, as another gust of wind caused her to shiver again, Ted draped the jacket over her bare shoulders.

"There, perfect." Ted made sure not to stare too long at her; he didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable or scare her away.

Andromeda stood for a few minutes as Ted set everything up, offering to help but being denied each time. His efforts did not go to waste by the time he eventually finished; the sight before them was picture perfect. A red and black, checked blanket carpeted the green, dewy grass, providing a soft spot for the pair to sit. Daisies outlined the rim of the blanket, bobbing their white heads as the wind continued to blow lightly. He had poured some orange juice into two tall glasses; the ice they were packed with to keep the drinks cool clinked against the sides before bobbing to the surface.

The couple had found themselves sitting at opposite corners of the blanket, occasionally looking around the grounds to see if they could detect a familiar face sure to spy on them. After a few minutes of silence, filled only by the distant chirping of crickets, Ted piped up.

"Well, I guess we should start eating, maybe? Want some blackberries?" He held up a round carton of the dark fruit, allowing her to grab a small handful before taking his own.

Andromeda popped one in her mouth, savouring the juicy, sweet taste. She was happy to note that Ted did not chew with his mouth open like she was told most boys of his calibre did. She averted her attention when he looked at her, choosing instead to resume scanning the grounds for any sign of her sisters or James. After another few minutes passed without result, she refocused on her date.

"Well, this is nice."

"I'm glad you like it."

"I do, thank you. Have you been on many picnics before?"

"No, I planned this for you. I mean, what I meant to say was, I- no, this was just for today."

"So no other girls, huh?" She cracked a smile, trying to figure out if he had much practice on dates before. Although they had always discussed her love life in classes, Ted had never really mentioned who he liked, save from comments on some Hufflepuff he fancied back in the second year.

"No, just family. My ma, pa and older sister used to go on them all the time."

"Yes, I do remember you mentioning that. What did you say your dad did for his career?"

"He's an architect." At her blank stare he added, "He designs houses and some small buildings. Nothing too fancy."

"And that's what you want to do? After Hogwarts I mean?"

"I don't know. I want to maybe explore a few different areas, Muggle and wizarding." It was different to the normal 'I'm going into my father's business' spiel boys normally said; quite refreshing, if she really thought about it.

"So, what about you, what are you going to do?"

"Oh, you know, cook and clean and make beautiful babies with my rich and powerful pureblood husband." She laughed bitterly. "Really, that's probably what I will do."

"But what do you want to do?"

"I- I don't know." This stumped her. No one had ever asked her what she wanted to do before; it was always what she had to do.

"There must be something?"

"Really, I don't know." Seeing his crestfallen face she went on quickly, "But I'll let you know when I know."

"Good, because you are very smart, you'd get far." She blushed at this comment. In her world, no one cared if she was smart as long as she kept quiet and looked pretty- the former of which she never could manage.

The talk died down again, this time marked by a more companionable atmosphere. Ted selected a red apple and began to crunch on it thoughtfully as Andromeda pondered her future. It was silly to get her hopes up by thinking of a path not chosen for her, yet, despite the warnings nagging at the back of her mind, she contemplated a future filled with adventures in different countries.

The conversation that had taken place just now was completely unexpected yet… normal. Everything about this fake date was normal. It wasn't necessarily as glamorous as the dinners by candlelight that she was used to and was more so a relaxed outing between two friends. If she didn't know Ted any better, she would have expected the date to be quite mundane. The holidays spent at home had seen her aunt go on and on about her younger cousin and his announcement that he had had several Muggleborn and half-blood girlfriends whilst at school.

He had already crossed the line with his Gryffindor sorting, yet was determined to up the ante. She had found the second year's rebellious attitude invigorating but didn't dare say so as she dutifully listened to lectures about their manners. "They are filthy when it comes to hygiene, never wash their hands, the men are always touching themselves. My poor old friend had a sister who went out with a Mudblood; the man wouldn't stop trying to stick his tongue down her throat. The shame of it all! No doubt they'd suggest a poisonous restaurant." Although she only believed half of her aunt's words, Ted surprised her with his perfect gentlemanly behaviour. She had been brought up to expect the worse and was so far only receiving the best.

If this is wrong, why does it feel so right? She wondered.

She was too busy thinking that she did not notice the tiny grey moth that had landed in her neat hair as Ted leaned forward.

"What are you doing?" She jumped, preparing to slap him across the face.

"I'm just…"

"What? Going to kiss me?" She narrowed her eyes, the moment of peace gone.

"No! 'Dromeda, I swear… why would you think I'd do such a thing?" He was confused.

"Sure, I'd believe that. Of course you want to kiss me!" She stood, throwing his jacket to the grass.

"Well, I did. The other night you looked so sad when you ran by and today you seemed… happier. But no, I was just trying to get a moth out of your hair." He looked embarrassed at his confession but didn't apologise.

"What moth?" She rapidly began to pat her hair, hoping no bug was in there; she hated them with a passion. "What moth? Get it out!" She repeated, terrified it was still there. Ted struggled hesitantly to his feet before coming to her aid and brushing the insect away.

Both remained standing, not sure what to do. Andromeda panted from the fear as Ted stooped to collect his jacket. Collecting herself, she decided to sort this mess out.

"Ok, look… I'm sorry. I'm not used to boys having restraint." She looked down for a moment before looking into his face. "But you know I have my reasons, I mean, you just admitted you wanted to kiss me. Wait… you did? You were there?"

"Yes. Look, it's ok, but I'm no James or Avery or Jack or any of the others. I don't think any of your family or James is coming to spy either so we may as well just give up on this."

"No, just tell me, why didn't you say something earlier?"

"When? About what?"

"When I was running the other night. Why didn't you tell me you'd seen me?"

"I didn't want to embarrass you. I know you Slytherins can get touchy about emotions like that. Plus, I didn't think you'd want me to bring it to anyone else's attention; you'd talk when you were ready."

"Oh. What about the kiss?"

"I told you, I was getting a bug out-"

"No, the one you did want."

"Forget I said that; it's not right of me to want it. We're still two very different people who can't even get a fake date right, remember?"

"Yeah. Yeah, you're right." Was he? Had today, moth aside, really been so bad? No, it hadn't but they couldn't be together; it would cause too many problems.

A few minutes of silence passed before Ted spoke up.

"We're still friends though, right?"

"Of course." Pausing for a moment, she stood on her toes and kissed his cheek quickly. "There, a kiss for being the perfect gentleman. Really, thank you." Inside, a strange feeling made her stomach feel light and airy, only increasing at the reddening of his cheeks.

"Well, I guess they really aren't coming. Do you want to head back inside, me lady?"

Looking to the piles of food still uneaten, she shook her head. "No, let's just stay for a little while longer. Maybe they'll come, maybe they won't; I just want to hear more about this arktech job."

"Architect." He smiled, passing his jacket back to her as they settled down. He started rattling off all the job opportunities it provided and all the skills he would need as Andromeda nodded her head every now and again.

With the setting sun and hours of more conversation to take them into the night, Andromeda couldn't help but think of the butterflies that were now fluttering around inside her stomach. She plastered a smile on her face as she listened to Ted's enthusiastic babble and odd jokes, refusing to give in to the confusing mix of helplessness and joy suffocating her.

**Author's Note:**

> This was one of the first stories I wrote for a competition. I hope you like it :)


End file.
